The famous receiver-on-top sex position recently got a makeover. Why? Because the old name (Cowgilr) had an annoying gender. Girls, after all, aren't the only people who can enjoy this position - anyone can! Nowadays the position is better known as:

⦁ Person-on-top
⦁ cowgirl
⦁ Cowboy
⦁ Receiver-on-top

No matter what you call it, the tips below will make the position even more pleasurable.

How to do the Cowboy/Cowgirl?

Any configuration that places the receiver on top can qualify as a top mount. Usually this means on top and getting vaginal or anal penetration. But one can also get into the position of receiving pleasure through a partner's hand or a sex toy (or three!).

One might even get into this position to receive oral sex in a kind of face-sitting or cowboy/cowgirl fusion. Yee-haw. The default position of the passive on top has the penetrator lying on the back and the receiver mounted on the hips. But it's customizable. The penetrator may also be sitting on a chair, couch, or similar seat, or in a crab-like position. And there are many, many, many options for the receiver.

Are there general tips?

Tip number one: do what's good for you and your love! But yes, there are other tips as well.

Play with the angle of the hips

If you remember anything from this article, do this: Angle is everything! The angle of the pelvis will dictate how deep the penis or dildo is, as well as which internal hot spots (if any) it will stimulate during penetration. If your pelvis is tilted towards your partner's face, she is more likely to reach in and stimulate her cervix and A-spot. If your pelvis is tilted away from your partner's face, she is more likely to stimulate your G spot.

Turn into position a reverse spin

The reverse cowboy/cowgirl still places the piercer behind your back, but turns so that your back is to your partner. The reverse cowboy/cowgirl gives them a new view, automatically changes the angle and can be useful if you are having anal sex.

Use lubricant

Lube is the difference between friction (read: pain) during penetration and pleasure. So abuse!

Cover your knees

The cowboy/cowgirl can be intense on the receiver's knees. If your knees start to hurt, pad them with pillows. You can also try crouching over your partner instead of kneeling over them. Or you could even switch to a narrow chair so the person on top can stand on the floor.

Be willing to experiment

Remember that there is no one size fits all solution here, and what was good with your last partner may not be good with the next one. There are many factors that can affect the feel of the cowboy/cowgirl top, and it can take some trial and error to find the right fit.

How can you modify movement to compensate for a height difference?

Most standing sex positions require you - or at least your genitals - to be approximately the same height. But the classic cowboy/cowgirl position - which involves the penetrator in the back and the receiver straddling the hips - no! On the contrary, it is a great option for people of different heights.

How can you modify to account for a body size difference?

If you and your partner are different sizes, don't worry! You have many options to take advantage of the position.

If the receiver is larger: Chairs can be useful if you are concerned about putting too much body weight on your partner. They allow you to use your legs to carry some weight as well. There's another type of chair that might come in handy: a sex chair, which is a plastic bench with elastic straps. To use it, you must place the bench legs on either side of the penetrator's hips and it will make the cowboy/cowgirl rise. The straps will help support the weight as well as help you mount your partner.

If the penetrator is larger: Try the reverse cowboy/cowgirl, which allows the receiving partner to lean forward as far as they want without their partner getting in the way.

Is there anything you can do for additional support?

Besides a sex chair? You bet! Use the headboard, add pillows where you need them, and don't hesitate to invest in position pillows if you think they'll make you more comfortable.

What can you do if penetration seems too deep?

The great thing about the cowboy/cowgirl position is that you have much more control over depth. One option, if it seems too deep, is to move up the body and keep the penetration shallow as you do so. Another option: Have your partner put on a penis damper which is a device that sits at the base of a penis or dildo, physically preventing you from going too deep. If penetration involves a vibrator, you can also ask your partner to use a shorter vibrator.

What can you do if penetration is not deep enough?

You have so many options! You can place a positioning pad under the penetrator's hips, which can reduce the amount of penis length that is not being used, making it deeper. You could also try modifying the cowboy/cowgirl position on top so that instead of getting on your knees, you are sitting on your partner with your feet planted on your head/shoulders. From here, lean back for support and you can enjoy deep, intense penetration.

What if you want another boost?

This is absolutely possible! Something people like about this position is how many options there are for additional stimulation. How you incorporate this extra stimulus will vary according to your anatomy and personal preferences.

If you have a vulva: If you have a vulva and enjoy clitoral stimulation, lie face down on your partner's stomach. This will press your clitoris against the pubic hair so that when you move you stimulate your clitoris.

Another option for clitoral stimulation is to have your partner use a wand while you sit up straight. If you're being penetrated vaginally, you can always bring your ass in and use a butt plug.

If you have a penis: If you want your penis to have some activity, you can:

⦁ masturbate with free hand(s)
⦁ masturbate with a masturbator such as the Tenga Egg
⦁ Ask your partner to stimulate your penis or testicles with a vibrator.

What if your partner needs more stimulation?

Again, it depends on where your partner wants to be stimulated and how. If your partner has a penis, he might:

⦁ Using a butt plug
⦁ Use a pair of nipple stimulators
⦁ Put on a vibrating cock ring.

If your partner is wearing a strap-on, they can:

⦁ replace the non-vibrating dildo with a vibrating one
⦁ insert a vaginal plug
⦁ use an internal vibrator
⦁ Put a bullet vibrator on the strap-on if you have a space for it
⦁ Wearing a butt plug

If you want to be more actively involved in pleasuring your partner, you can:

⦁ lean forward and use your mouth to kiss or stimulate your toes
⦁ use your hands to caress your legs or pinch your nipples
⦁ tease the belly or inner thigh with a feather or fingernails

What if you've tried all of the above and need something else?

If you've tried all of the above and the position doesn't work for you! There are many, many positions for intercourse and none are 'better' than the other because it's all personal preference. Find out which positions work for you and opt for them!

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